Nurse: Bye!
She opens the door for Bowe and Roy
Nurse: Hope you come back soon!
Bowe: I’m sure we will.
Roy: Uh, know what? I can’t just let you face this dreadful career by yourself.
Bowe: Thanks Roy. This time, we’ll be interviewing anyone who’s willing, and we start with Peppy and Andrew.
Roy: We?
Bowe: Well, yeah. You said you’d help me.
Roy: I never said I would.
Bowe: What?
Roy: So, I got someone else to.
Bowe: Who?
Roy shakes his head.
Bowe: Who?!
Roy: Nope.
Bowe: Tell me!
Roy starts whistling.
Bowe: WHO IS IT?! MARTH? JOLTEON?? IAMERTAI???
Roy: Worse, for you.
Bowe: What?!?!?!
Roy: Well, later. Leaves
Bowe: No! Stay here! I order you! As a full working interviewer, stay!
Roy: (Off screen) That’s kind of why I’m leaving.
Bowe: No…stay…falls down. No.
Katt flies in. Someone told me to help with your interview.
Bowe: NOOOOO!!! WHAT IF FALCO SEES!!!
Katt: Don’t worry…
Bowe: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!?!
Katt: I made sure there was no chance of him following me.
Bowe: How?
Katt: I told him about Gerudo Valley.
Bowe: Oh. I-I guess that would do it…
Katt: Yes, now, shall we?
Bowe: Shall…we…what?????
Katt: Interview someone.
Bowe sighs with relief.
Katt: What did you think I meant?
Bowe: Nothing, Never mind.
Leaves, Katt follows.
Bowe: Katt, do you know where Roy is?
Katt: Yeah, but he said not to tell you.
Bowe: I ORDER YOU TO TELL ME!
Katt: Plus, he said, that if you threaten me, that I should kiss you.
Bowe: Sighs. Never mind. Errr, that’s two.
Katt: Two what?
Bowe: Two people on my ‘to beat up’ list.
They start back though the forest to the place that Andrew and Peppy are.
Bowe: Katt!
Katt: What?
Bowe: IFYOU DON’T STOP FOLLOWING ME…
Katt: Let’s see, how much would I have to pay Falco, or any male, to say that? Anyway, that counts as a threat.
Bowe: Darn it! Do you have to?
Katt: Yes. Kisses Bowe on the mouth.
Bowe: I’m going to kill-Roy! Breaks free. Ugg! Eww, Let’s move on. Wipes lips.
Bowe and Katt get to Nibelheim, Peppy and Andrew are standing in the town square.
Peppy: Where were you?
Andrew: I bet I know…
Bowe and Katt look at each other.
Bowe: NO! ANDREW!!!
Andrew: Hee, hee! Bowe’s got a girl friend!
Bowe: AAAAAHHH!!! THIS CAN’T GET WORSE!!!
Peppy: I would like to introduce a friend.
Bowe: I should never say that it can’t get worse, it always does.
Peppy: He’s from a town near here!
Katt: Get on with it!
Peppy: Oh, and his name is, Cid!
Cid falls from the sky.
Cid:Hi! I’m an American!
Bowe: Right…
Cid: Peppy and I have a lot in common!
Andrew: Singing Bowe and Katt, sitting in a tree!
Bowe: I HOPE SOMETHING THAT WILL END THIS INTERVIEW RIGHT NOW DOESN’T FALL OUT OF A PLOT HOLE!
Nothing does.
Andrew: (Singing). K I S C H Q, wait no, hmm…
Bowe: It was worth a try…..
Peppy: We laugh together, cry together…
Cid: Get drunk together!
Andrew: Umm, P? No, B? No, skip that verse. (Singing). First comes a baby in a baby buggy!
Katt: What would it look like?
Peppy: We both are about thirty-five,
Cid: But we act as if we were ninety!
Everyone keeps saying senseless stuff, but under all the noisy din of loudness, Bowe heard one voice cry out.
Voice: Hi! It’s me! Slippy!!!
Bowe: This can’t be happening.
Slippy: Why don’t you interview me?
Andrew, Peppy, and Cid run off screaming.
Bowe: Umm, that’s better, a bit. Now Slippy, what is you think of other people?
Slippy: Well, Falco likes Katt, Wolf likes Katt, Leon likes Katt, Bill likes Katt, Pigma likes Katt, hey, do you like Katt?
Bowe: No!
Slippy: Oh, wow! That’s different! I thought YOU would…
Bowe: Uh, next question…
Katt: Slippy, would you repeat that?
Slippy: What?
Bowe: What?
Katt: Bowe told me about ‘to beat up’ lists, so I started my own!
Slippy: Well let’s see, Falco likes Katt, Wolf likes Katt, Leon likes Katt, Bill likes Katt, and Pigma likes Katt! Oh, and I added one.
Katt: Who’s that?
Slippy: Bowe likes Katt!
Bowe: WHAT?!
Slippy: I heard what Andrew said, and I saw you two kissing in the forest!
Bowe: NO! Andrew was lying!
Slippy: Oh, no, Andrew never lies.
Bowe: Who the heck told you that?!
Slippy: Andrew.
Bowe: Well, Katt only kissed me because I threatened her!
Slippy: Then you DO like Katt!
Pause.
Bowe: THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!!!
Falco and Roy enter.
Falco: Hey Bowe! What’s up! Sees Katt. Mwaa…
Bowe: (Whispering) Please don’t find out what happened in the forest! Please find out what happened in the forest!
Falco looks at Bowe.
Bowe: AAAAAAHHHH!!!
Falco: Whatever.
Bowe: (I’ve seen those green eyes before….)
Slippy: Squeak!
Falco: Squeak?
Slippy: It’s my new battle cry!
Bowe: KIRBY!
Roy: What was that?
Bowe: Kirby had those green eyes!
He pulls an old, wet, folded, wrinkled paper from his pocket.
Bowe: “People with green eyes are dark Falz”!
Dark Roy: Darn!
Bowe: I really could use a Link-summoner.
Link: What?
Bowe: SHOOT HIM!
Link: OK…
He does so.
Dark Roy: Ow.
Bowe: No! With a light arrow, you idiotic idiot!
Dark Roy: Not so fast!
He grabs Slippy.
Slippy: Hi!
Link: Like THAT’S gonna make me hesitate…
Dark Roy: If you touch the light arrow, I’ll tell him about Mt. Nibel!
Link: So? What’s Mt. Nibel?
He prepares light arrow in his bow.
Bowe, Falco, and Katt: NOOOO!!!!!
Dark Roy: Hey Slippy,
Slippy: Yeah?
Dark Roy: See that mountain? There are many scary dragons up there that eat you!
Slippy: SQUEAK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HHHHHHHHHHELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bowe, Falco, Link, and Katt: OWWW! MY EARS!!!
Well this is where Link used his Triforce of Courage to withstand the screaming and hit Dark Roy with a light arrow. Dark Falz escaped, and Falco never found out what happened in the forest phew.
----
Bowe: Roy, you were possessed.
Roy: I know.
Bowe: But you still set Katt on me,
Roy: I know.
Bowe: So I must punish you.
Roy: I know.
Bowe: First, I lower your pay.
Roy: I know.
Bowe: Then I tell IamErtai. And I doubt he’ll be happy.
Roy: I know.
Bowe: And finally, I get to keep this for a month. Takes his sword
Roy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOT MY SWORD!!!!!
At this rate, I might not last. Well see ya soon.
Nintendo guys are© to Nintendo as always.
Bowe is © to Bowe, that’s me.
Nibelheim, Mt. Nibel, and Cid the American are © to Squaresoft
Next, I’ll interview …Katt…