Bowe: YES!!! I get to interview Roy! That also means I don’t have to go anywhere! So Roy, why the heck do you think Katt kisses me? I hate it!
Roy: Maybe that’s why she does it. I dunno.
Bowe: Now, why do you like The Lord of the Ring so much?
Roy: Well, as you know, RPGs would not exist if Lord of the Ring had not been made, and Fire Emblem is an RPG. So, if it wasn’t for The Lord of the Ring…
Bowe: Oh, You probably wouldn’t exist.
Roy: Uh, yeah.
Bowe: OK, what do you think of Marth?
Roy: He’s crazy. He never got any of my jokes, and he doesn’t mind kissing!
Bowe: No way!
Roy: I heard a rumor that he’s dating Firiel.
Bowe: Hmm, that’s interesting…
TV: We interrupt this show to bring you this breaking news!
Bowe: Why don’t they ever interrupt commercials?
News Caster Vern: There have been absurd amounts of plot holes in the area of, uh, here. So, interviewers, be sure to wrap up well!
Roy: That’s where we live!
Bowe: Darn it! Dang it! Drat it!
Vern: If you live in this, uh, place, try to get to you basement, cover your head, and, A hand gives him some new paper. Hey, This says that the news station is in that area… AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Gets sucked up by a plot hole. AAAAA!
Bowe: We’re in trouble.
Plot hole opens and two people drop out. Scary organ music plays.
Jessie: Did someone say trouble?
James: They’d better make it double!
Jessie: To protect the world from all the holes of plot!
James: How many plot holes have we fought?
Jessie: To destroy the evil that plot holes bring!
James: They’re more evil than Sauron’s ring!
Jessie: Jessie!
James: James!
Jessie: Team Rocket blast plot holes at the speed of light!
James: Surrender, plot holes, ‘cause you’re gonna lose the fight!
Meowth drops out of a plot hole.
Meowth: Meowth! That’s right!
There is a pause. Bowe and Roy are standing by the TV, dumbfounded.
Roy: Right…
Bowe: There’s a kitty!
Meowth: Ahh!
Bowe: No, I must control myself, ahem, mmm, that’s better.
Now, Roy and I will do the default phrase when Team Rocket comes.
Bowe and Roy: WHAT DO YOU THREE WANT!!!
That was the default phrase. Thank you.
James: Well, we just watched the movie ghost busters…
Jessie: …and we compared it to Luigi’s career…
James: …and we thought we wanted a job as successful as…
Jessie: …that…
James: …but we couldn’t find any ghosts…
Jessie: …so we vacuum up…
James: …plot holes!
Bowe: What’s your kitty for?
Meowth: I battle anything that might come out before they can suck ‘em up!
Roy: Good, you can keep the plot holes away while he interviews me.
Jessie: That’ll be $19.29.
Roy: Huh?
James: Didn’t I say we wanted a successful career? There’s gotta be some profit for us!
Roy: OK. Gives them $19.29.
Jessie: Now go on, we don’t mind. A plot hole opens right there.
Bowe: AAAHHH! Get it!
James: Get what?
Roy: I don’t get it.
Bowe: Too late! Katt comes out. NOOOOOOO!!!
Katt: Hi Bowe…She immediately falls into another plot hole.
Jessie: There’s a plot hole!
James: Let’s get it!
Bowe: No! Don’t!
Jessie and James hold a button on the right of their vacuum packs, and wiggle a little yellow control stick.
Bowe: Stop!
James: But it’s our job!
Bowe: I don’t care! Draws his sword.
Jessie: If you do that, this house will be a smoldering crater!
Bowe: Why?!
Jessie: Because it’s a Team Rocket rule that all our inventions must be fueled with nitro-glycerin!
James: Ahh! I got it!
The plot hole swirls around and flies into James’s vacuum pack.
Jessie: Hey, you always get it! And all the EXP points!
Meowth: Not when I beat her! Claws Katt. Katt slaps Meowth. They start fighting.
Roy: Whoa, cat fight.
In the end, Katt is the victor, because she has a laser gun.
Katt: Take that!
Meowth: Owwww…
They all fall though a plot hole, and land right on the table where Marth and Firiel are sitting.
All: AAAHHH!!! Crash.
Marth: Hey, what’s-…you!
He points at Roy.
Roy: What do you want?
He draws his sword.
Marth: I figured out the joke about the growling snakes!
Roy: What?
Marth falls down laughing.
Roy: Oh, yeah!
Roy joins him.
Firiel: How embarrassing.
Bowe: What? I do it all the time!
Meanwhile, Team Rocket is hitting dusty objects to see if ghosts will come out. Some of the dust lands on someone’s plate.
Man: Do you mind?
James: Oh, sorry, it won’t happen again, Man turns around. Hello! I’m your biggest fan!
Jessie: No, I am his biggest fan!!!
Luigi: Never a moment’s peace.
James: Look, I have a polltergust 3001!
Jessie: Well so do I!
Bowe: Umm, Marth? Can I interview you?
Marth: Why?
Bowe: Because it seems Roy has found the dessert table.
Marth: OK.
Bowe: What do you think of Roy?
Marth: He’s crazy. He makes so many idiotic jokes it makes me sick! Plus, he thinks kissing is the most deadly thing in the world! Weirdo.
Bowe: Why? Do you like it?
Marth: Well, uh, umm, well, ugg, you know, hmm,
He Shrugs.
Marth: ch, hnn, like, du, hm, well, you know.
Bowe: …?
Marth: You know…..
Bowe looks at Marth as if he was crazy, and I’m not saying he’s not.
Bowe: I think I’ll be joining Roy now…
Jessie: Well I’ve got a bigger vacuum tube!
James: Who cares?! And I doubt Mr. Luigi wants us yelling while he’s trying to eat!
Jessie and James start fighting, but what they do not realize, is that Luigi just fell down a plot hole.
Firiel: This is so stupid!
Marth: Well, it’s an interview.
Suddenly, a plot hole opens.
James: I’ll show Mr. Luigi who can fight plot holes!
Jessie: No you don’t! Pushes him onto Albert’s table.
James: Ow!
Jessie: Err! This one is tough! I can’t get it! Ash and Pikachu come out.
Ash: I…must…destroy…team…rocket!
Jessie: Meowth, help!
Meowth is still knocked out from his fight with Katt.
Ash: Pikachu, use thunder!
James: But we didn’t do anything!!!
Ash: You got dust all over!
Piakchu uses thunder, team rocket, along with many others; blasts off again, because there’re pollturgusters are filled with nitro-glycerin. There is a pause.
Albert: That was weird. Hey, what’s this? An interview or something?
Bowe: ASH YOU DOLT!!!
Ash: What? They’re pure evil!
Bowe: NOW WE HAVE NO PROTECTION FROM THE PLOT HOLES!!!!!
Ash: Oh.
Many random plot holes open at random locations and drop or suck up random people. Meanwhile, Katt has ordered a hamburger.
Roy: What utter chaos.
Bowe: Let’s go home before it gets worse.
Roy: We have no idea where in the world we are!
Bowe: Oh, right…
Roy: But what do we do now?
Katt: Bowe! Sit with me before Falco comes!
Bowe:…We go home.
Falco comes out of a plot hole.
Katt: Shoot!
Falco sits by Katt.
Falco: Drooling. Hi Katt, mwaa. Hey, nice burger! Eats it.
Marth and Firiel have gone back to their table. Bowe and Roy have gone out the door.
Roy: Now, which way is home?
Bowe: I have a plan. We jump into plot holes until one takes us home!
Roy: But they could take us ANYWHERE else!!!
Bowe: Hmm…
Roy: Hey, what’s that?
Bowe: It’s Miyamoto stadium! The place I help with interviews! And so this restaurant must be the café le Jue de Reubiqse!
Roy: So do you know the way home from here?
Bowe: No, because I always fall asleep on the bus.
Roy: Great.
Bowe: Ah ha! Wait here! Runs in the restaurant.
Roy: Whatever.
----
Half an hour later
----
Roy hears many dishes crashing inside, the sound a pan makes when it’s smashed down on someone’s head, a simple ‘Ow!’, and someone yelling. There is a pause. Then something flies out the window into the river. Roy bends over to see what it is.
Roy: Bowe?
Bowe: Never mind! Hurry!
Roy jumps in the water.
Bowe: NOT LIKE THAT YOU IDIOT!!!
Roy: Sorry.
They both get out of the water and start running.
Roy: Panting. Why did you fly out the window?
Bowe: Panting. Well, I asked Firiel which way was my house, she told me.
Roy: Panting. And that flung you into the river?
Bowe: Panting. No! Then Katt saw me, and, uh, threatened me to sit by her before Falco comes back from ordering another hamburger.
Roy: Panting. So what did you do?
Bowe: Panting. I sat with Katt.
Roy: Panting. Must have been some threat.
Bowe: Panting. Uh, it was. Then Falco came back, saw me with Katt, and hit me with tons of dishes, then I hit him with a pan, then he said ‘Ow!’ And then he yelled at me, and threw me out the window.
Roy: Panting. Oh. So we’re going to run all the way to your house?
Bowe: Panting. Yeah.
----
After three hours, they get to Bowe’s house.
----
Roy falls on the floor
Roy: That was awful…
Bowe sits in a chair and grabs the remote.
Bowe: What’s on TV?
Roy: Bowe, never interview me again.
TV: Well, the plot holes seem to be clearing up. Back to you Burn, I mean, Vern.
Vern: OK, at the restaurant le Jue de Reubiqse, just three people and one pokémon broke fifty-nine dishes, one pan, four tables, the roof, one of the walls, two pollturgusters, and a window. We have now only located one of these vandals. One of the customers says his name is ‘Bowe Ootini’
Firiel on TV: I think I’ve seen him some place before…
Vern: OK, so far all four bills will be sent to this Mr. Ootini…Bowe turns off TV.
Roy: WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Bowe: Well, I’ll have to lower your pay…
Roy: Grrr…
Nintendo things are © to Nintendo again.
Vern is © to some fake news station.
Bowe and Firiel are © to themselves.
Ghost busters is © to the guys who made it.
Sauron and his ring are © to each other and J.R.R. Tolkien
See ya’ soon when I interview…KATT AGAIN?!?!?!?!?!