Bowe's interview with Fox McCloud & Bill Grey

 

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Kanto skies, sunset

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A familiar Meowth shaped hot air balloon rises up.

Roy: OK, stop here.

As the flame goes down, the balloon stops moving.

James: Now what do we do?

Roy: We wait…

An hour passes. The sky grows dark. The balloon seems to turn into a mysterious black shape against the moon-reflected light.

Jessie: I CAN’T STAND IT!!! It’s been more than an hour! Where are they?!

Roy: Jessie, please. You’re ruining the mood.

Jessie: Oh, sorry.

The clouds start to shift, and they move right in front of the moon.

Wobbuffet: Wo…bbuffet

Meowth: Hmm, I’m tired too.

Meowth and Wobbuffet lie down and close their eyes. It starts to rain.

James: Where can they be? Are they somewhere up there among the countless number of stars? Somewhere in the vast void of space?

Roy: Could it be that they are lost up in there?

Pause. Then, suddenly, breaking the mood, two ships fly past. One of their wings hits the balloon.

All: We’re blasting off again!

Wobbuffet: WA!!!

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At the crash site.

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Roy: Ow. Well I guess that was them…

James: How dare they wreck the mood!

Meowth: I was trying to sleep!

They go to where the ships had landed.

Roy: What’s the idea?!?!?! You were supposed to stop when you got to the Meowth balloon!!!!!

Bill: Uh, oops.

Fox: Hey, where’s Bowe? I can’t see Bowe.

Roy: Umm, it’s a long story…so I’m going to interview you.

Fox: Oh, great.

Roy: Hey! How am I worse than Bowe?!

Bill: He didn’t mean that.

Roy: Well, now that we’re in a forest from Pokémon at night, plot holes can get us!

Fox: There’s nothing we can do about it, OK! Now let’s get this over with.

Roy: Bill, does anyone ever get you mixed up with Bill Gates?

Bill: AAAAAHHHHH!!! DON’T REMIND ME!!!!! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Roy: …OK…

Fox: Don’t you ask any questions like that to me!

Roy: But all my questions are insults.

James: Can we go now?

Roy: Sure. Here, catch.

Throws him a tennis ball.

Roy: It’s yours. Take it.

James: Running off. Jessie! Come see! He gave me a tennis ball!!! Isn’t it exciting!!!!!

Roy: Whatever.

Fox: If all your questions are insults to us, I don’t want to hear ‘em!

Bill: Yeah!

Roy: Than what do I do in the meantime?

Fox: I don’t know.

Bill: Tell us where Bowe is!

Roy: Well, all I know is, he went shopping with Fara.

Bill: Why the heck would he do that?!

Roy: She said no one has any money left.

Fox: Please, change the subject.

Roy: OK, it’s getting pretty dark…

Fox: So?

Bill: Are you afraid of the dark?

Roy: No, I’m just kind of tired.

Fox: So now we just stand here for half an hour?

Roy: Well if you won’t let me ask any questions, yes.

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Meanwhile in the department store.

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Bowe: Oof, can’t you…carry any of…your stuff?

Fara: No.

She takes ten items off the shelf and gives them to Bowe.

Bowe: Can…can I…get something?

Fara: No.

She takes twenty items off the shelf and gives them to Bowe.

Bowe: Not even…one…soda?

Fara: No.

Takes thirty items off the shelf and gives them to Bowe.

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Back to the interview.

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Bill: Roy, got any fives?

Roy: Go fish.

Fox: Bill, got any fives?

Bill: Go fish.

Fox: What?

Bill: I was bluffing.

Fox: Then give me my five.

Bill: No, on my turn!

Fox: This makes no sense! This supposed to be an interview!!!

Roy: Do you want me to ask you my questions?

Fox: Sighs. No.

Roy: Then sit here and play fair.

Fox: But Bill cheated! He said so! I just asked him for a five!!!

Bill: I have a four. Here.

Fox: What?

Bill: You asked me ‘four a five,’ Right? It’s yours.

Fox: But I don’t have a four!!!

Bill: I don’t have a five.

Fox: Takes the four. LIFE ISN’T FAIR!!!!!

Roy: This is as bad as an interview.

Fox: Crying. Kill me!

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Back at the store…

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Bowe: Let me have Just one soda pop!

Fara: Fine. But you have to pay for it, and carry it…

Bowe: Yeah, yeah.

He puts some money in the machine, and takes out a pop can.

Fara:…But I get to drink it.

She takes it from him and drains it in one drink.

Bowe: What?! Nooooo!!!!!

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And now, here’s Roy.

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Roy: FOX, IT’S JUST A CARD GAME!!! YOU ARE NOT NOW CURSED FOR LIFE!!!!!

Fox: Crying. I WANT MY MOM!!!

Bill: I don’t think it’s working.

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Let’s see what Bowe’s up to, shall we?

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Bowe: Ugg.

He drops all the things on the check out counter and falls down.

Cashier: Will this be cash, or check?

Fara: Credit.

She reaches into her pocket and pulls out some lint.

Fara: Bowe, it seems I, Uh, Forgot my credit card…

Bowe: RRRAAAAAHHH!!!!!

He smashes his checkbook onto the counter, and runs away.

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At the interview…

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Bowe: Comes in. It isn’t done yet?!

Roy: Bowe, can you help?

Bowe: With what?

Roy and Bill: HIM!!!

Bowe: Roy, this is typical in an interview, you have to expect this.

Fox: Crying. MOMMY!!!!!

Roy: But the interview hasn’t started yet.

Bowe:…What?…

Roy: We’ve just been playing Go fish all this time.

Bowe:…Why?…

Roy: Here’s my list of questions. Gives a paper to Bowe who reads it. They didn’t want to hear them.

Bowe: And no wonder! I wouldn’t want to be asked them! Would you?!

Roy: I wouldn’t mind number thirty-six.

Bowe: Yes, neither would I, but they would!!!

Bill: What’s the question?

Bowe: ‘How would you like one month without Katt?’

Bill: Impossible!

Fox: WWWAAAAAHAAA!!!!!

Roy: FOX, SHUT UP!!!

Fox: :Sniff.:

Bowe: Well, it’s eleven o’clock, I think we should go home now.

Fox: I don’t know how to fly.

Roy: Try random buttons until you get the right one.

Fox: OK.

Bill has already left. Fox gets in his ship.

Fox: Let’s try this one.

ZAP

He hits Albert, but the shot is mysteriously reflected from him, and hits a tree.

Fox: No? How ‘bout this.

Arwing starts hovering.

Fox: OK, now here!

Bang

Pow

Boom

Fox: Uh oh…

The Arwing falls out of the sky, engines smoking and Fox cussing all the way.

Bowe: Let’s go.

Roy: How?

Bowe: What do you mean?

Roy: I got here in Team Rocket’s balloon.

Bowe: Which way do we go?

Roy: We get lost a lot, don’t we?

Suddenly, Bowe lets out a huge belch. The trees quake, and lots of leaves fall. Roy raises an eyebrow at him.

Bowe: What? Everyone does it now and then.

Roy: Nevertheless…

Gary: Comes in. What was that?!

Roy: Him.

Bowe: Hey!

Roy: Sorry, anyway, Gary, do you know the way out of this forest?

Gary: The only way out is with a hoot-hoot!

Roy: A what?

Gary: It’s a Pokémon! As usual!

Bowe: Well, can we have one?

Gary: Uh, no.

Bowe: Why?

Gary: Because…Sighs. I don’t have one.

Bowe: Let’s go look for one.

Gary: That’s what I’ve been doing for the last week.

Bowe and Roy: WEEK?!

Gary: Yes, I’ve been eating berries and roots all this time!

Bowe: What can we do?

Gary: And at midnight, I’ll turn into a-a…

Bowe: A what?

Roy: A werewolf?

Gary: No, a STALFOS!!!!!

Bowe: Then we’ve got to hurry and find a hooth-oot!

Young Link: Walks in. Who on earth said you needed a hoothoot to get out of here?

Gary: Some old hag.

Young Link: Well, that’s a lie. You just need to go though there.

Gary: I’ve passed there ninety-twelve times.

Roy: Don’t you mean one hundred-two times?

Gary: AAAHH! My brain is all weird! I need to get to a doctor!

Roy: Or a math teacher.

They go out.

Gary: Ah, Sunlight!

Bowe: Why is it suddenly the middle of the day?

Then, Bowe belches again. But this time, it’s ten times as strong, so it knocks down several tree houses.

Roy: How many sodas did you have?! Fifteen?!

Bowe: No! Just twenty-one!

And that concludes my sixth interview. But since I didn’t do it, and it wasn’t done, I guess my sixth interview is still to come. Well, bye.

 

Nintendo is © to all things Nintendo, or vise versa.

Bowe is © to me, Bowe.

And that’s pretty much all to ©…oh well.

The next one will be Leon!

 

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