Bowe: Good evening. I am Bowe. I will be your interviewer today. Ahem, as some of you might already know, Roy is absent. So I got a new assistant, Red XIII!
Red XIII: When will Katt show up?
Bowe: Hopefully, she won’t. And now to interview Bill Grey.
Reader: But you just did!
Bowe: Look, that was just two hours of Go Fish, and I didn’t even get to play!
Red XIII: So, where is Bill?
Bowe: They’re always late, give him some time.
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Oh so much time passes.
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Bowe: Hey Red XIII, In Final Fantasy XIII, was there a Red IXV?
Red XIII: I do not know!
Bowe: I wonder where Bill is.
Red XIII: Can we play Go Fish while we wait?
Bowe: No, Roy has the deck.
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Meanwhile, Roy and Gary are fighting their way though millions of thieves who have been making a living by stealing from poor, helpless people that live in a nearby village. But enough of that exiting stuff, back to the film already in progress, ‘Waiting for Bill.’
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Red XIII: I know how to make things less boring!
Bowe: How?
Red XIII: I HOPE KATT DOESN’T FALL OUT OF A PLOT HOLE!!! She doesn’t.
Bowe:…Uh, I do too. She does.
Red XIII: Good job, Bowe!
Bowe: THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!!!
Katt: Hi Bowe!
Red XIII: Do not mind him, I am here for you.
Katt: How nice of you!
Bowe: That’s one advantage of having him for an assistant…
Red XIII: Miss Katt, how furry you are today!
Katt: Thank you!
Bowe: Ugg…Wait, I know! I hope Bill doesn’t fall out of a plot hole!
Bill falls on, in his bed asleep.
Bowe: So that explains it…
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Meanwhile, Roy and Gary are being called on by the village guard leader, and told that there is a fire breathing dragon that eats humans at the top of a mountain.
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Viscen: Gary, you must go to the top of the mountain, and smite the evil dragon!
Gary: No sweat! With my pokémon, it’ll be a cinch!
Roy: See ya’ later!
Gary: We’ll be back with a dead dragon faster then you can say…uh…
Roy: ‘Tiny killer crabs!’
They leave, and we get back to the interview.
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Bowe: Hey, wake up!
Bill: Asleep. No. Goway. I need the rest.
Bowe: Hmm, how can I wake him?
Red XIII: How soft your paws feel!
Bowe: I know! HEY BILL!!! RED XIII IS FLIRTING WITH KATT!!!!!
Bill Wakes up
Bill: WHAT?!?!?!
Red XIII: Uh, I will be right back, my sweet.
Bill: You have some nerve!
Red XIII: Do not trifle with me, sleepy-head!
Bill: She’s mine!
Bill attacks, and the two fight.
Bowe: But now I can’t interview him.
----
Meanwhile again...
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Gary: So where’s this so called dragon?
Roy: Probably in that cave.
Gary: Oh, right.
They go in the cave.
Roy: There he is!
Gary: Go, Umbreon!
He throws a pokéball.
Gary: Now, use shadow ball!
Umbreon’s attack hits the dragon. It wakes up and attacks.
Roy: Take this!
Roy hits it with his sword. It flees.
Gary: Yeah! We beat him!
Roy: But didn’t Viscen tell us to kill it?
Gary: Let’s get it!
They run after the dragon. And now, here’s Bowe.
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Bill: How dare you!
Red XIII: Get off me!
Bowe: This is getting boring.
Katt: I don’t know who to root for.
Bowe: Bill, can I please interview you?!
Bill: First things first!!!
He punches Red XIII.
Bowe: :Sigh:
Katt: Bowe,
Bowe: EEHP!
Katt: Why are you scared of me kissing you?
Bowe: It’s so gross!
Katt: Well, I won’t.
Bowe: What? Cool! W-Why not? Uh, n-not that I want you to…just wondering!
Red XIII: Because she likes me better!
Katt: You know, he has a point.
Bill: NO!
Katt: We’re both felines, and you and Bill aren’t.
Bill: NO!!!
Katt: So I think I like Red better than you, Bowe.
Bill: NO!!!!!
Bowe: YES!!! YEAH!!!!!
Suddenly, a dragon flies overhead, spewing fire to the ground.
Bowe: Look out!
Red XIII: Katt! Hide!
Roy and Gary run on.
Roy: Bill! Bowe! Watch out for the dragon!
Bowe: Oh Roy, that was just bad.
Gary: Did a dragon come though here?
Bowe: Yeah, it went that way.
Gary: Thanks!
Runs away with Roy.
Bowe: Well, it seems everything has calmed down now, so Bill, first question…
Bill: Where’s Katt?
Bowe: No, the question is…
Bill: I’m serious! Where is Katt?!
Bowe: I don’t know, and I don’t care! Now listen…
Bill: And…where…is…Red…XIII?!?!?!
Bowe: Yeah, I could use some assistance.
Bill angrily starts looking in bushes, trees, piles of leaves, undergrowth, overgrowth, and many more plants.
Bowe: Er, here we go again.
Bill: Where are they?!
Bowe: Look, I don’t care in the least, why should you?
Bill pulls over a weed and behind it, Red XIII and Katt are kissing.
Bowe: Eww…
Bill: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Bowe: Wait, how did you fit behind a weed?
Bill: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
He pulls out his blaster, and fires. There is a huge explosion. Bowe lands in a small village.
Bowe: Ouch.
Roy: Interview’s over?
Bowe: Yeah…
Roy: Well, I just killed the dragon, and am honored by all these villagers!
Villagers: Hooray!!!!!
Gary: Hey, don’t hog the spot light! I killed it!
Villagers: Hooray!!!!!
Roy: I just used me and my sword! You made your pokémon do all the dirty work!
Villagers: Hooray!!!!!
Gary: I had to tell them what to do, or else you would be a charred lump of burned Roy!
Villagers: Hooray!!!!!
Roy: HEY!!!
Bowe: Well, I survived an interview.
Villagers: HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!
They pat Bowe on the back, give him some cookies, buy him a drink, and other pleasant things.
Roy and Gary: Show-off.
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One last meanwhile,
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Red XIII: Owie…
Bill: Take that! And now, Katt, I…
Falco falls from a plot hole.
Falco: I HEARD YOU, BILL!!!!! DIE!!!!!
Bill: Uh oh.
----
Well, maybe, just maybe, Katt will leave me alone now. I sure hope she does. But if not, I’ll go hang out with Red XIII. And he’s an OK guy, so this is a huge, great, giant, enormous, and in all other ways big, improvement! YES!
Nintendo stuff is © to Nintendo again.
Red XIII is © to Squaresoft.
Dragons are © to the middle ages which is © to itself.
Next, Wolf.