Jigglypuff: Hello everyone, today, the puff will be taking you into the wacky, demented, yet coma inducing world of politics! Yay!
Fox: And what exactly does that have to do with us?
Jigglypuff: Um.. Well, you guys get to be my bodyguards while I visit planet Earth- it’s really dangerous.. People are always at war 24-7, you know.
Fox: And if we don’t want to be your bodyguard?
Jigglypuff: Then you won’t get to be in my interview…
Fox: .. Fine. So who are you interviewing?
Jigglypuff: The earth equivalent of Andross…. Maybe even worse than him..
Fox: ??
Jigglypuff: George W. Bush.
Thunderclaps behind her, and scary music plays
Fox: ….
Jigglypuff: I’m just setting the mood, okay?
Fox: whatever..
Slippy: Can I go to!?
Jigglypuff: Sure, why not?
Falco: Hmm, I’m bored, I guess I’ll tag along.
Jigglypuff: Okay then. Hey what about Peppy?
Fox: He’s sleeping.
Jigglypuff: Well, it would be better for him if he didn’t meet Bush anyways. So, I guess we’re all set to teleport to… America!
Slippy: Yay!! My country ‘tis of thee sweet land of liberty..
Jigglypuff: shut up!
Everyone teleports to the White House
Jigglypuff: Everyone here? Okay, he should be just through this door-
Suddenly, a black hole appears in the middle of the room and Andross falls out
Andross: Starting an interview without me, Jigglypuff!?
Jigglypuff: I’m not interviewing you! Go away!
Andross: Then why is Slippy, Falco and Fox here?
Fox: Because we’re special. Now get lost!
Andross: Well, that’s fine. I have more important things than to hang around with you simpletons.
Jigglypuff: Like what?
Andross: I’m looking for a guy named Bush, I heard he’s on the lookout for weapons of mass destruction
Jigglypuff: Hey, that’s pretty good Andross, how did you know that?
Andross: We intercepted one of his little speeches from Venom. That guy can’t even talk right!
Jigglypuff: What do you expect? He’s a Texan.
Fox: Andross. are you thinking of stealing those weapons of mass destruction?
Andross: Maybe…..
Falco: Get out of here !
Jigglypuff: *Whispers to Falco* Don’t worry, I heard that there was never any to begin with..
Andross: Now, where is Bush?
Jigglypuff: He should be in the room through this door. You’re welcomed to watch, but please don’t interfere with anything
Andross: Sure, but no promises..
Jigglypuff: Whatever, I need to get started, we’re late as it is..
Fox: Slippy, will you open the door?
Slippy: Okay!
Slippy goes to open the door, but Bush on the other side opens it and smacks Slippy into the wall
Jigglypuff: Hey, that’s what happened to me last time!
Bush: Howdy Ya’all!
Fox: Dear God!!! He even looks like a monkey!!!
Slippy: Is he related to Andross?
Jigglypuff: From what I heard about him.. Probably.. Or maybe Hitler..
Slippy: Who’s Hitler?
Jigglypuff: Never mind that…
Bush: So who’s interviewing me?
Jigglypuff: Uh, me..
Bush swaggers over to Jigglypuff, using that arrogant walk of his
Jigglypuff: Hi, uh, I’m Jigglypuff.. You’re president Bush, correct?
Bush: That’s right!
Jigglypuff: (What a freak) So, why don’t you tell us something about yourself?
Bush: Well, for starters, I’m the worst American president ever to grace America since President Kennedy, and Jimmy Cariter‘s reign!
Jigglypuff: Why don’t you tell us something about yourself that we don’t know..
Andross: *Butts in between the two* Who cares! So uh, Bush. You say Saddam Hussan has.. *drools* Weapons of mass destruction?!
Bush: Why yes I do! They in fact, have weapons of mass destruction!
Andross: Sweeet…
Bush: We must liberate Iraq and disarm the evil doer!
Slippy proceeds to “disarm” Bush
Fox: Slippy, what the hell are you doing?
Slippy: I’m disarming the evil doer!
Bush: I’m not the evil doer!
Slippy: Your not?
Bush: NO!
Slippy: ^_^;
Bush: Now if you will excuse me, I must give orders to liberate Iraq.. LET THE BOMBING COMMINCE!
U.S. Air Force & Coalition friends bombs the hell out of Iraq, with Bush Jumping up and down the whole time
Bush: * Yee-ha! I pwned j00!!
Falco: He’s crazy..
Andross: Crazier than me?
Falco: Yes.
Andross: I think I could learn something from this guy..
Jigglypuff: Wait- That’s liberating them? You call bombing the bejesus out of another country and killing thousands liberating them?
Bush: Yeah!!!
Slippy: You know what Bush, I think you’re a terrorist!
Fox: So how much is this war going to cost?
Bush: Ooooh.. Let’s see, about 85 billion dollars?
Fox: What!? Did you say 85 billion?
Bush: Yup.
Bill Gates: Holy Crap! I don’t even have that type of money! I could only pay about half of that..
Jigglypuff: Dang… that’s a lot of money you’re sucking out of the country!
Bush: Well, if that’s not enough, we can always harass the UN to donate, so we can make a mockery out of the country and make American tourists want to put a paper bag over their head whenever they walk around!
Falco: You’re a disgrace!
Slippy: Why don’t you pay for the damn war yourself?
Jigglypuff: He can’t.
???: Bark! Bark!
Jigglypuff: Hey? Who’s that?
Bush: Huh? Oh that’s my friend, The Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair!
Falco: You have friends!?
Fox: How the hell did that happen!?
Jigglypuff: Um, why is he wearing a leash?
Bush: Because he’s my little bitch!
Tony Blair growls, and bites Bush’s leg, who screams like a little girl
Bush: Eeeeeeek! Down, boy!
Tony Blair: :Whimper:
Jigglypuff, Andross, and Starfox: 0_0;;
Bush: Aw, we’re just playing, isn’t that right, boy?
He pats Tony on the head
Tony Blair: Don’t bloody touch me…
Slippy: Ha ha!
Bush: Hey, I get to visit the UK in a week or so, right?
Author’s note: Okay, so this is a little outdated, mind the lazy lag of myself, didn’t finish it before Bush actually did go to the UK..
Tony Blair: Yeah, that’s right. I really don’t know why I’m letting you step a foot in Britain after you ruined my political career. Some friend you are…
Bush: No! Have faith! We will find weapons of mass destruction!
Andross: Yes! They MUST find them!
Fox: -_-;
Tony Blair: How long has it been?
Bush: Don’t worry.. We will find them.. It’s just a matter of time..
Tony Blair: Time? By the time we find anything, I’ll be dead!
Bush: What, you really think I would declare war on another country because I thought they had weapons of mass destruction?
Tony Blair: ……….
Falco: YES!
Bush: I knew they had weapons.. From a very reliable source!
Jigglypuff: Who?
Bush: The UN inspectors!
Two men walk in, smoking dope
UN Inspector 1: Hey.. I have a weapon of mass destruction in my pants.. Heheheh :cough:
UN inspector 2: Yeah, me too.. Heheheh…
He passes out
Bush: ^_^;
Jigglypuff: I heard there’s going to be like, 10,000 protesters to “greet” Bush when he arrives!
Fox: British people are cool..
Tony Blair: Anyways, security will be as tight as possible, in case anything happens; We’re not taking any chances.
Jigglypuff: You think some heroic person might try to assassinate Bush?
Bush: WHAT?!
Jigglypuff: Oops, did I say heroic? I mean, some vile, despicable, Nazi will try and assassinate Bush?
Tony Blair: Precisely.
Jigglypuff: Nah, I don’t think that’s going to happen
Tony Blair: ??
Jigglypuff: That would be STUPID for a terrorist to kill Bush…
Bush: ??
Jigglypuff: Because a new, competent president might take over!
Falco: Oooh, slap in the face!
Slippy: Good one, Jigglypuff!
Tony Blair: *snicker*
Bush: SCREQ YOU! SCREW YOU ALL! DAD! DAAAAD! HELP ME!
Bush senior: What is it, son?
Bush: They’re making fun of me..
Bush senior: I‘ll ruin you like a Japanese banquet!
He walks over to Jigglypuff and barfs on her
Jigglypuff: What the crap!?
Fox: Well, now you’ve done it!
Jigglypuff: You BITCH! HOW DARE YOU!
She goes to pound Bush, but a dozen of security guys pile up on Jigglypuff
Jigglypuff: Ow..
Jigglypuff gets arrested by the FBI
Jigglypuff: WTF?! I thought America is a free country with “freedom of speech!” Or what about “freedom of the press!?”
FBI guy: How long have you been living here? That’s a bunch of B.S. we like to say that to lure naïve immigrants into the country, so we can have even more problems regulating our borders!
Jigglypuff: But that makes absolutely no sense!
FBI: That’s right!
Jigglypuff: You can’t do this to me!! I was just trying to make a statement to the world!!
FBI: Take her way!
Jigglypuff: $%&# this!!!
She teleports everyone out of America and back to the Lylat System
Bush: Come back here!!!
----
Back in Lylat….
----
Jigglypuff: Well that didn’t go very well..
Andross: DAMNIT!!! I didn’t find the weapons of mass destruction!!
Fox: Don’t worry Jigglypuff, it wasn’t your fault. That planet earth is really %^&#ed up.
Jigglypuff: That’s true. I guess no matter where you are, there will always be some kind of jackass causing problems for everyone else!
Andross: True, true….
Jigglypuff: Well, I’ll see you guys later, I may drop by Venom to say hi to the Star Wolf team, I haven’t spoken with them for awhile.
Fox: Why would you want to?
Jigglypuff: I want my interviews to be nice and well balanced, then I’ll see you guys again.
Fox: Okay, bye Jigglypuff!
Jigglypuff: bye!
She Teleports off
Next time: Jigglypuff interviews Starwolf