Here I am, for my second interview, since I didn’t
finish my 1st one with Andross, because his fortress was totally demolished,
courtesy of Jolteon! Well Andross just called me today and said I could come
over and interview him and Andrew. So, with my trusty clipboard and pen, and my
beautiful crown on my head, I guess I’m all set to leave now!
----
Jigglypuff uses her teleport move, and warps on Planet Venom, in the middle
of nowhere. She walks down the vast canyons, singing out loud to herself
Caiman: Caiman here, no problems.. Hey.. What’s that sound!?
Caiman is patrolling the planet in his aircraft, while Jigglypuff is too busy
singing to realize she’s under an entire group of Venomaians in there ships
Jigglypuff: Ji-ga-lee-e puff, jig-a-lee-ee-ee puff . . .
Jigglypuff’s rich soothing voice echoes, due to the canyons structure, and
for miles, Venomians can hear her mysterious voice, and we all know what happens
when someone hears a Jigglypuff singing......
Caiman: Do you copy!?
Venomians: Z… Z…. z.. z z z *snore* z z z
Caiman: Emergency ma- z z z z z
Caiman falls
asleep in the cockpit, and crashes right into a pillar, his ship goes down, as
well as the other aircrafts in the area
Jigglypuff stops singing and turns around to see dozens of crashed aircrafts
Jigglypuff: Look at all the crashed airplanes! I wonder how that
happened?
She shrugs, and resumes her singing, walking onward toward Andross’s fortress
----
Finally, she arrives in front of Andross’s fortress, and before she has the
chance to knock, Andrew opens the door
Jigglypuff: Oh, hello Andrew!
Andrew: Ohhhh it’s the pink thingy again!
Jigglypuff: :rolls eyes: Yes, that’s me…
Andrew pokes Jigglypuff
Andrew
Your’re funny…
Suddenly Andross appears behind Andrew, and he picks him up with one hand,
holding him to face level
Jigglypuff: Hiya Andross!
She smiles
Andross: Hi Jiggly..
He turns to Andrew, still holding him up
Andross:
ANDREW! BE NICE TO OUR GUEST!!
Andrew: Aw jeez I was just playing with it..
Andross: She’s our guest, and YOU MIND YOUR MANNERS!!
Andross lets
out a huge belch
Andrew:………
Leon appears in the background in his pyjamas, wearing
bunny slippers
Leon
God damn! Can’t I get any rest around here!?
Andross glares at Leon
Leon: Uh.. I mean.. nice one sir!
Jigglypuff: Nice slippers Leon..
She giggles
Leon: Shut the hell up, Puff!
Jigglypuff: Why are you sleeping at 2:30 in the afternoon?
Andrew: He was drinking with Wolf and stayed up late at the bar and got
drunk..
Leon: At least I’m man enough to get drunk
Andross: Ha ha ha!!!
Andrew: Hey Uncle Andross, you’re not going to just stand here and let
Leon insult me like that are you?!
Andross:…… yes.
Jigglypuff walks up to Andross and gently pokes his leg
Jigglypuff: Excuse me, but the interview?
Andross: Oh yes of course!
He Drops Andrew, who lands with a thud
Andrew
Come on in! Everything is built back up, with a few minor adjustments..
Leon: Yeah, Andrew’s room has padded walls and safeguards on "sharp"
objects so he won’t hurt himself.
Jigglypuff tries not to laugh
Jigglypuff:
R… r..really?
Andrew: Stop making fun of me!
Andross: Stop wining! Anyways Jigglypuff, not all the furniture is here
yet, but of course, my bio-weapons are here, would you care to see them?
Jigglypuff: Of course! It’s.. safe right?
Andross: As long as they didn’t break out of their cages....
Jigglypuff follows behind Andross, who leads her into a basement, Andrew and
Leon follow
Jigglypuff: Wow, it’s creepy down here..
Andross: To your left, you will see my current bio-weapons, and to my
right, you will see NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL!! SO DON’T LOOK!
Jigglypuff looks to the left and sees the Brain, the machine Andross and the
giant Andross face in cages from Star Fox64
Leon: Oh darn too bad I can’t help looking left and right at the same
time, hey what’s this thing?
To the right is a transparent case, with a cloth covering it up
Andross: UH.. IT’S NOTHING!!
Jigglypuff is already behind Andross, who was trying to cover it up from Leon
and Andrew, and she pulls down the cloak, revealing a beautiful, crystal like
bio-weapon resembling the face of a man. (The final boss in the 1993 Starfox
game)
Jigglypuff/Leon/Andrew: Wow!!
Andross: Damnit! I told you there’s nothing there!
Jigglypuff: What’s wrong with us seeing it?
Leon: How come I never knew about it?
Andrew: What else are you hiding Uncle Andross!?
Andross: :sigh: Well, now that you know about it I’ll explain.. It’s
very, very special to me….
Jigglypuff: What’s so special about a fancy Lego?
Andross: Lego?! It’s not a Lego!
Jigglypuff: Lego mania! I didn’t know you like Lego Andross, that’s very
interesting
Andrew takes the case off and picks up the crystal face
Andrew: Oh I want to play with Lego!
Andross hastily snatches the crystal face from Andrew, snarling
Andross: Don’t touch it! It’s very dangerous you ignorant fool! It’s
a bio-weapon! My very first one.... Ever created…
Jigglypuff: Wow. That’s very impressive for the first time, what exactly
does the bio-Lego do?
Andross rolls
his eyes
Andross: Stand back everyone..
He holds up the
crystal face, it opens what appeared to be a mouth and violently sucks in air,
taking in glass beakers, papers and other things that where on the floor
Jigglypuff: Wow!! It’s a Lego-vacuum cleaner!
Leon: I could use one of those for my room!
Andross: I guess you 3 are too dull to appreciate bio-weapons..
Jigglypuff: Hey! Who are you calling dull, pal?!?
Andross: Who the hell you think I’m calling dull? Maybe if you didn’t
have a brain made of fluff you could figure it out!
Jigglypuff’s eyes narrowed, and she leaped into the air and used her pound
attack on Andross, causing him to drop the crystal-face
Jigglypuff: I’ll tear you apart 10 times worse than Jolteon did!
She grabs his
beard and pulls on it
Andrew: Hey! Andross’s enemy is my enemy!
Jigglypuff: WELL NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! YOU’RE HIS NEPHEW!!!
Leon: THE LEGO!!
Everyone stops, and looks helplessly as the crystal-face goes flying across
the laboratory, almost in slow motion, hits the ground and shatters into
thousands of different pieces.
Andross: MY FIRST BIO-WEAPON!!!!!ITS DESTROYED!!….again.
Jigglypuff lets go of Andross beard, jumps down from
him, and takes a few steps back, shaking
Jigglypuff:
Uh oh..
Andross turns to Jigglypuff, his left eye is bruised
Andross: Y…YOU!!! YOU!!
His face turns red, he is trembling with anger
Andross:
I’LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!!
Andrew leans over to Jigglypuff and whispers in her ear
Andrew:
This is when you run like hell..
Jigglypuff: :Nervously: Uh, now Andross Im sure it can be replaced, I’ll
get you a new one.. Ok.. Then we can all go back to our .. Um… happy little
lives!
Andross glares at Jigglypuff
Andross: Do I LOOK HAPPY?!
Jigglypuff: No…
Jigglypuff: I’m so sorry, I feel bad now *sniff* really, I do. Before the
interview I vowed that nothing bad would happen to those who where kind enough
to allow me to interview them, but.. *sniff* now I screw everything up because I
lost my temper.. It’s all my fault, please find it in your heart to forgive me,
I’ll make it up to you, somehow..
Andross: …………….
Andrew: YOU BETTER BE SORRY! YOU STUPID PIECE OF LENT!
Jigglypuff: Lent!? That’s a new one.. Hey, SHUT THE HELL UP!
Andross sighs, then chuckles as Jigglypuff starts to beat Andrew down
Andrew: Uncle Andross! ! The cotton candy is hurting me! Leon, help!
Leon: Why don’t you ask someone who cares!!!!
Andrew: ……..
Leon: My point exactly.
Andross: All right you two, knock it off. Jigglypuff, I like your
fighting spirit, how would you like to be my little assistant?
Jigglypuff: What?!
Leon: Eh?
Andrew: Hey! That’s not fair!
Andross: You can stay here and I’m sure there’s some kind of job for
you..
Jigglypuff: Really?
Andross: Yes. I would like to do research on you, Jigglypuff, and learn
more about the creatures called Pokémon, (And finally get revenge on that damn
dog Jolteon for causing me such stress...)
Jigglypuff: Sure, I guess there’s no harm in that? Im sorry, what was the
last thing you said? I didn’t hear you…
Andross: Ah, nothing!
Jigglypuff: I guess I should of told you, I learned to speak your
language by being around Fox and Falco
Andross: Fox?! What, you know Fox McCloud!?
Jigglypuff: I wouldn’t go so far to say I know him, but I defiantly know
who he is, heh, I kick his furry a$$ across the Lylat system not too long ago.
Same with that blue parrot thing, Falco.
Leon: Blue parrot thing! That’s a good one!
Jigglypuff: Oh, and I have to warn you, I love to sing, but for some
reason people fall asleep - on purpose- I think, when I do.
Andross: (This little creature has the power to put anyone to sleep by
singing? This is too good....)
Jigglypuff: I can interview everyone while doing my job right?
Andross: I’m sure we can fit time for that.. YOUR HIRED!
Jigglypuff: Yay! I got the job… uh, what am I supposed to do again?
Andross picks Jigglypuff up
Andross: For now, you can leave everything to me… mwa ha ha ha ha ha
ha
Jigglypuff: 0_0;;
Andross: Eh, just ignore me when I do that..
Andross and Jigglypuff are last seen walking into a different laboratory,
then the picture fades out
TO BE CONTINUED...
Next time, we will see what Andross has in store for Jigglypuff, Caiman is
found half dead, Wolf gets back from the bar (still) drunk, and Falco happens to
appear in the next interview. I hope you enjoyed my 2nd instalment, the
insaneness is just beginning! I’ll see you next time!