Jigglypuff:
Whaaaaaaaz up!? Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Speaking of that, I couldn't help
myself in my last interview with Andross, blowing up his fortress because I
learned he was trying to exploit my voice, which, you know, has the power to
make those fall into a deep sleep.. well anyway I just got a call from Corneria,
and I’m going to interview Falco Lombardi, which I was supposed to interview
last time, but didn't get to him. Now, I have a feeling Falco is going to try to
kill me, because I met him before in Super Smash Brothers Melee.. and... I....
well, I kinda beat the feathery stuffing’s out of him... heh heh.. Im sure he's
over it by now.. well, it's time to get out of Kanto and into the Lylat System!!
Jigglypuff puts her cute little crown on and teleports to the Lylat System,
and appears on the Great Fox, which is in Corneria
Jigglypuff: Hey! Where's the doorbell on this thing!? Oh well..
She pounds on the door, accidentally using pound, making the door cave in
Jigglypuff: Whoops. I guess I don't know my own strength..
Slippy peaks at Jigglypuff from behind the door
Slippy: Something's up ahead... looks pink!
Peppy walks up to Jigglypuff
Peppy: Incoming Interviewer!!!!
Jigglypuff: Yep, that's me! Sorry about the door.. so where's Falco?!
Peppy: Oh he's in the back having breakfast with Fox, would you care for
something to eat?
Jigglypuff: Food!? Oh yes that sounds great!
Peppy: Fantastic! Follow me then..
Jigglypuff follows Peppy into the kitchen, Slippy walks behind Jigglypuff
Slippy: So this is Andross' secret bio-weapon..
Jigglypuff: What the hell are you talking about!?
Slippy: Us... nothing!!
Peppy: Falco! The interviewer is here!!
Falco: Well... *cuts his waffles* It's about time!!
Jigglypuff: Hello Falco, how are you..
Falco: JIGGLYPUFF?! YOU ARE THE INTERVIEWER!?
Jigglypuff: That's right Falco, it's me. Andross had a similar reaction
to see a little Pokémon no taller than 1'4...
Fox: What about Andross!?
Fox pulls out a gun and points it at Jigglypuff
Jigglypuff: WHOA!!
Fox: All right puff, the "jig" is up, we heard you work for Andross, you
think we would not suspect a supposedly "cute" little puffy thing wouldn't work
as one of his secret agents.. WELL YOU'RE WRONG!!
Jigglypuff: No Fox, I'm afraid your wrong... I totally demolished
Andross' fortress, and I never really "worked" for him.
Fox lowers his gun
Fox: So that's what they where talking about on the News, "The
Massive explosion on Venom."
Jigglypuff: Wow!! It made the news?! (blushes) I'm a celebrity...
Falco: A-hem...
Jigglypuff: Oh Falco, as you know, I'm here to interview you, and about
what happened before.. well I'm sure you're over it by now..
Falco looks up at Jigglypuff, with band aides over his beak
Jigglypuff: Uh oh..
Falco: Hey Einstein, I'm NOT on you're side!
Jigglypuff: Hey Einstein, Einstein’s DEAD!!!
Falco: EXACTLY!!!
He Jumps at Jigglypuff
Falco:
Time for a little payback!
Peppy: FALCO!!! MIND YOUR MANNERS TO THE GUEST AND SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR
BREAKFAST!
Jigglypuff: I'm also here to apologize, but the reason I attacked you and
Fox is because a large aircraft open fired on me.. I believe it was either you
or one of your wingmen..
Fox: The Arwing?
Jigglypuff: Oh, is that what it is?
Slippy: Uh oh..
Jigglypuff: What do you mean uh oh Slippy?
Slippy: Well, I didn't recognize your species from the distance in my
ship
so...
He looks down
at the floor
Jigglypuff: THAT WAS YOU!?
Falco sighs
Peppy: Ah, never mind that, here have some waffles!
Peppy gives Jigglypuff a nice plate of Waffles
Jigglypuff: Oh thank you, no one offered me any food at Venom..
Slippy Looks at the Waffle plate in front of Jigglypuff
Slippy: HEY IT WAS MINE!
Peppy: Be quiet, Slip! You could use a few calorie cut backs..
Fox: All range breakfast!
Jigglypuff: Oh god, they better not be like Star Wolf, acting like they
are
still in the game.. :shudder:
Falco: Hey Rob! Pass the syrup!!!
A machine like
robot that was standing behind Falco extends it's mechanical
arm and grabs the syrup
Jigglypuff: Wow!
Rob64: Location confirmed. Sending supplies!
He hands Falco
the syrup
Jigglypuff: Hmm, why did I see that remark
coming? Hey, what the heck do you mean "location confirmed?!" FALCO IS RIGHT IN
FRONT OF YOU!!
Falco: D'oh! There's hardly any syrup left.. I guess I should be
thankful.
Jigglypuff: Yeah, you should!
She has syrup
all over her mouth, and her waffles are drenched in syrup
Falco: Jiggly-pig!
Jigglypuff: Jiggly-PUFF!
Falco: She's pink like a pig too!
Jigglypuff: ....................
She turns
slightly red with anger
Falco: And round like a pi-
Jigglypuff: YOU KEEP YOU'RE BEAK SHUT, LOMBARDI!
Fox: Don't bother telling him that, it would take a miracle for that to
happen..
Falco: If it wasn't for Peppy.. I would kick your ass back into your
Pokéball!
Jigglypuff laughs
Slippy: It's ok Falco, don't get so upset
He Pat's Falco
on the back
Falco: SLIPPY! GET YOUR GOD DAMN HANDS OFF ME
YOU FREAK!!
Fox: Hey, Slippy is just trying to be nice..
Falco: A little TOO nice..
Slippy: What? I was just trying to make you feel better..
Jigglypuff: Oh this is perfect! I needed an icebreaker! Falco, tell me
how you feel about you're team-mates!
Falco: Well, Peppy is senile but probably the nicest out of the team, Fox
is a snob who thinks he's a better pilot than me, and I should be the leader of
this team, and Slippy... I'm trying to decided if I should refer to the frog as
a "He" or a "she."
Fox/Peppy/Slippy: WHAT?!
Jigglypuff: Here's a hint Falco, refer to Slippy as an "it!"
Falco: Hey, Jigglypuff has a good idea!
Peppy: I'M NOT SENILE FA.... FA.... FO..... FOKO!! No, that's not his
name... FR.. FR.. FRED! No that's still wrong.. (thinks) what's his
name again?
Fox: Falco..
Peppy Turns to Fox
Peppy:
*Turns to Fox* Who are you again?
Jigglypuff: Perhaps he's not senile, but is suffering from a bad case of
amnesia..
Falco: No. The old coot's senile!
Fox: Falco you bird-brain, I AM a better flyer than you!! And if anyone
acts like a snob, it's you! You know, I don't see why you act like one, because
you have no reason to be so arrogant!! I'M constantly saving your ass from
bogies!
Slippy: Yeah! And I'M a guy! Why would you think otherwise!?
Falco: You sound like a girl, you act feminine
Slippy: As if!!!!! Like, you're totally wrong!
Slppy Bitch Slaps
Falco
Falco: Shoot! I've taken some damage!
Fox: You call that damage?
Jigglypuff: Hey!!! Knock off the quotes, Falco! They are giving me a
major migraine!
Falco turns to Slippy
Falco: You're dead meat, pal!
Falco cocks
back his arm, and punches Slippy in the face
Jigglypuff: ..............
Slippy: Enemy Shield Analyzed!!
Jigglypuff puffs up
Jigglypuff:
You are NOT in the game now... so stop acting like it!!
Falco: (To Slippy) You're mine!
Jigglypuff: Oh.... my...... GOD!
She covers her
ears but she can still hear them
Slippy: You'll be sorry, punk!!!
Falco tackles Slippy and pins him to the ground, and starts punching the heck
out of him
Fox: Hey hey! Knock it off you two!!
Falco ignores him, and starts chocking Slippy
Slippy: Fox, get this guy off me!
Jigglypuff: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! QUIT SAYING YOUR LINES FROM
STARFOX64!
Slippy: No!!! No!!! Crooaak!
Jigglypuff: Ah, wonderful, I tell him not to say the stuff from
Starfox64, so now he's acting like the 1993 Starfox game for the SNES..
Slippy: Whoa help me!
Jigglypuff: Yeah, you need help all right Slippy, so does this whole
team..
Falco punches Slippy in the stomach
Slippy: Ahhh! I'M hit!
Peppy: Do a barrel roll!
Slippy does a "barrel roll" and gets out of Falco's grasp
Slippy: I'M going to kick your feathery ass Falco!
Slippy does a back flip, then leaps into the air, several feet off the ground
and lands a nasty kick to Falco's face, knocking him down to the hard metal
floor of the Great Fox
Falco: ARRGH!!!!
Jigglypuff: Slippy used "mega kick.." it's "super effective" AHH!!! NOW
I'M SAYING THE QUOTES FROM MY (Pokemon) GAMES!!
Fox: Whoa! Did you see that Peppy? Slippy's got spunk!
Falco slowly gets up, breathing heavily, then he takes out a gun and points
it to Slippy
Peppy/Fox: FALCO!! DON'T!!
Slippy: Whoa! Help me!!
Peppy: Try a U- turn!!!
Slippy turns around and starts to run from Falco
Jigglypuff: I'm surrounded by a bunch of FREAKS!
Falco: You coward...
Peppy: Use the boost to chase!!!
Falco runs after Slippy, shooting at him
Jigglypuff: Oh my gosh! You all knock it off!!!
Falco: No way! Slippy is going to pay for that!!
Jigglypuff: I'M not talking about Slippy, I'M talking about you acting
like you're still in the Starfox64 game.. it's starting to get VERY lame and
VERY irritating
Fox: What are you talking about Jigglypuff? This is how we always act.
Jigglypuff: ..... oh... that's.. nice... Fox.... *Takes a few steps back*
Slippy dives for the ground, barely evading Falco's shots, and takes out his
gun and shoots it right at Falco. Then, right before the bullet hits him, he
takes a side step out of the way and everything freezes, and the screen rotates
360 degrees, via a la Matrix
Jigglypuff: (blinks) Now that was cool!
Suddenly, an explosion is heard and the Great Fox shakes violently
Jigglypuff/Falco/Slippy/Fox/Peppy: AHHHHH!
Falco: What the hell was that!?!
Fox: I don't know!!!! Where's Rob64?!
Rob64: Damage to the anterior side of the great fox
Slippy: Yeah, yeah we know that, what was it from?
Rob64: Nova bomb from enemy ship.
Fox: Huh?
Everyone looks
outside the window, it's this huge ship armed with what appeared to be nuclear
bombs
Jigglypuff: Oh no.. it can't be.. how could he possibly rebuild things
that fast... all of his weapons and ships where destroyed by my psychic
attack...
Falco: Who's "he?!?"
Jigglypuff: I'm afraid it's-
Andrew: UNCLE ANDROSS!!! I WANT TO SHOOT A NOVA BOMB AT THEM!!
Andross: No!!! Now get the hell away from me!
Jigglypuff opens the window and shouts out of it.
Jigglypuff: Andross! You are really over doing it!
Leon: There it is! Grab it!!
A Wolfen bolts right past Jigglypuff, with Wolf sticking out of the window,
trying to grab Jigglypuff, and Leon in the cockpit
Jigglypuff: Heeey watch it!
The Wolfen turns around, and dives back down at
Jigglypuff
Jigglypuff slams the Window shut
Jigglypuff:
This looks bad.. I think Andross is after me...
Falco: Really?!?
Jigglypuff nods
Falco: (Grabs Jigglypuff) HEY ANDROSS!? YOU WANT THIS
JIGGLYPUFF?! HERE, YOU CAN HAVE IT!!
Jigglypuff: What are you doing?! Put me down now!!!
Fox: FALCO YOU STUPID (censored)!!!! IF YOU GIVE ANDROSS THE
JIGGLYPUFF, HE CAN USE HER VOICE TO PUT US ALL TO SLEEP AND TAKE OVER THE LYLAT
SYSTEM!!!
As soon as Falco walks outside the GreatFox, he gets shot by Leon, almost
instantly, his beak goes flying off
Leon: Annoying bird... I AM THE GREAT LEON!
Jigglypuff drops out of Falco's grasp
Jigglypuff:
Yeah, I agree he is pretty annoying..
Fox: HELL YEAH! FALCO WILL FINALLY SHUT UP!!
Slippy: Score!!!!
Peppy: Thank god, now I can stop taking 15 different stress pills each
day..
Falco crawls to the edge of the wing, trying to grab his beak
Peppy: Falco!! Get back here!!
Fox: Leon's going to shoot you... wait, that's a good thing, isn't it?
A draft of wind blows Falco's beak just before he reached it and it falls off
the Great Fox
Falco Eyes widen and would curse if he could
Jigglypuff: ..... I don't think he deserves this...
She jumps off
the wing of the Great Fox and falls down out of sight
Andross: OH NO! SHE RATHER DIE THAN TO LIVE
WITH ME?!
Fox: Heh, I don't blame her
Slippy: Poor Jigglypuff...
Peppy: I would of done the same thing, Slippy.
To everyone's surprise, Jigglypuff ascends, holding Falco's beak in her
little hand, and flies back up to the Great Fox
Everyone: JIGGLYPUFF CAN FLY?!
Jigglypuff: No, It's not really flying, it's more like floating. I guess
I really am a balloon after all..
Andross: A cute balloon!
Jigglypuff shudders. Falco walks up to Jigglypuff, she
hands him his beak and he puts it back on
Falco:
Thanks Jigglypuff...
Jigglypuff: You're very welcome Falco.
Fox: NO! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE HIS BEAK BACK?!
Slippy/Peppy: Doggone it!
Jigglypuff Shouts out to Andross
Jigglypuff:
Andross, could you try to kidnap me after I do the
interview with Falco? Pleeease!? I mean, you've been interviewed 3 times by me
already!! And besides, you don't want a stupid balloon like me to keep you
"company..." I'm very dangerous, and I'm really, really annoying, isn't that
right, Falco?
Falco: Well, I guess, not really.. you're being nice now
Jigglypuff winks at Falco
Falco: Oh!! Yeah... that's right, Jigglypuff is the last thing you
want,
Andross!
Andross: You must think I'm quite ignorant Jigglypuff, what's that in
your eye?
Jigglypuff: I don't have anything in my eye!!
Andross: That's what I thought..
Jigglypuff: I .... D'OH!!!
Starfox team falls down anime style
Wolf: What the heck?
Leon: That was... odd..
anime sweat marks appear on Wolf and Leon's face. Wolf
Looks at Leon
Wolf:
Ugh Leon, what's wrong with you, use some deodorant!
Leon: What are you talking about.. lizards don't sweat..
Looks in the mirror in his Wolfen and sees the huge sweat mark
Leon:
Ahhh!!
Wolf: Hahahaha .... ugh!
He realizes he
has one too
Andross: All right you two knock it off, were
heading back to Venom..
Jigglypuff blinks
Jigglypuff:
Oh, I didn't think he would listen to me.. thanks for your corporation, Andross.
Andross smiles at Jigglypuff, as she returns the smile with her own
Fox: YEAH GO BACK TO THE GHETTO WHERE YOU CAME FROM YOU DAMN APE!
Jigglypuff: Uh, Fox..
Fox: Yeah?
Jigglypuff: He was born on Corneria...
Fox: Oh yeah...
Falco: DON'T COME BACK, THE JIGGLYPUFF HATES YOU - SO JUST GO TO HELL YOU
Ba$^@#&!!!!
Jigglypuff: Falco!
Falco: Sorry..
Slippy: Bye!
She waves to
the departing ship
Andrew: Bye Slippy!!
He Waves back.
Andross looks at Andrew
Andross: (Looks at Andrew) WHAT THE
FECK?!
Fox/Peppy: (Looks at Slippy) WHAT THE HELL?!
Wolf: WHAT THE HECK?!
Leon kicks Wolf out of his Wolfen for saying that
Wolf: ahhhhh!
Falco: See, that's why I said everyone should refer to Slippy as an "it!"
Slippy: Don't make fun of me bird-brain!
Jigglypuff: Oh, jeez, we wasted all of Falco's interview time with
senseless arguments.. but you know, how about we have an interview with Falco
and Slippy?
Fox: Yeah! I gotta see that!
Peppy: Yes, Slippy has some BIG explaining to do.
Falco: I'm game.
Slippy: Fine! Whatever it takes to prove i'm not a girl!
Fox: I'd like to know why you waved goodbye to Andrew...
Peppy: I'm afraid to hear the explanation...
Jigglypuff: Ok then, it was nice being here, and I hope to see you soon!
Well, I'm going to head back to Kanto...
Falco: Kanto?
Jigglypuff: Yes, that's were I live on Mt. Moon.
Slippy: Hey, isn't that where all kinds of other pokemon live?
Jigglypuff: Yes. Prehaps I will hold an interview there someday, if
things get too out of hand here. Well, goodbye!
Jigglypuff teleports back home at the mouth of Mt. Moon in Kanto, and as
usual, goes home to get some rest
TO BE CONTINUED
Next interview: Falco & Slippy