Jigglypuff: Good day everyone, last time, me and Falco made up and we aren't enemies anymore, although he shouldn't get angry for me attacking him if I'm from Super Smash Brothers Melee... anyway Falco is fed up with the team, and feels he should be the leader. Also, today we are going to get to the bottom of Slippy’s gender confusion.. and why he waved goodbye to Andross' nephew, Andrew!
Andross appears out of nowhere
Andross:
Spare us... I don't want to know...
Jigglypuff: Hey! Didn't I tell you to keep out of my interviews!?
Andross: I should be in this one, if it's concerning Andrew..
Jigglypuff: That's just an excuse, you just want to be with me!
Andross: ........
Jigglypuff: And besides, you said you don't CARE about him...
Andross: I care about him to some extent
Jigglypuff presses a button on a hidden voice recorder
Jigglypuff:
I KNEW IT!! YOU AREN'T AS EVIL AS MANY THINK! I'M GOING TO HAVE EVERYONE ON
CORNERIA LISTEN TO THAT!!
Andross: NO!! My reputation will be ruined...
Jigglypuff: Andross, you reputation IS ruined and always has been ruined.
Andross: Please.. don't..
Jigglypuff: I won't let anyone listen to this..
Andross sighs
Andross:
Thank you, Jigglypuff.
Jigglypuff: Under ONE condition.. you promise not to barge in on any of
my interviews ever again..
Andross mutters something
Andross:
Fine.... agreed.
Jigglypuff: Oh, by the way, how did you get in my introduction to the
interview?
Andross smirks
Andross:
I have my ways..
Jigglypuff: (Coldly) Yeah, I bet..
Jigglypuff teleports and arrives on Corneria, and is seen next to the door
that has been rebuilt on the Great Fox
Jigglypuff: Oh, I see they installed a door bell now!
Falco: Yeah, General Cheap-ass raised the budget for once...
Jigglypuff turns around to find Falco behind her
Jigglypuff:
Hey Falco! Um, who's General Cheap-ass?
Falco: General Pepper...
Jigglypuff: Oh, is he your boss?
Falco: I guess so, he's the guy who pays us..... they say we do it for
the adventure, but let me tell you- that's a bunch of b.s., we do it for the
money, or, at least I do!
Jigglypuff: What about the fame and glory?
Falco scoffs
Falco:
Fox gets all of that...
Fox: Of course, the game only has my name in it!
Jigglypuff: Please, pleeeeease don't talk about the Starfox/Starfox64
game.. I beg of you..
Falco: Fox? How did you get out here?
Fox: Rob64 has went haywire! Slippy is trying to fix it.. I tried to
help, but Rob64 chucked me out the window..
Falco: And Peppy?
Fox: Oh, I think he had a stroke or something.. just kidding.
Jigglypuff: You know, 40s is considered mid-age, and by no means is old,
does he have medical conditions?
Fox: Falco gives him a lot of stress
Falco: Go find your own interview, Fox!
Jigglypuff gives Falco A dirty look
Falco: What, the line is "go find, your own target, Fox!" I didn't say
that!
Jigglypuff taps her foot
Jigglypuff:
Don't get smart with me...
Fox: We better go back inside and help them..
Falco: All right..
He takes out
keys and opens the door to the Great Fox
Fox: Holy crapload!!
The Great Fox is completely trashed, it looks like a hurricane came through
and whipped everything out
Falco: This is horrible..
Jigglypuff takes the hammer out from Super Smash Brothers and whacks Falco
with it
Falco: AHHH!!
He gets knocked
out cold
Fox: Good job, Jigglypuff!
Jigglypuff giggles
Jigglypuff:
Thank you..
We hear a (very) high pitched scream, causing the windows in the Great Fox
crack
Jigglypuff: Ahhh!! My ears!!
Fox: That's Slippy! Hurry he sounds like he's in trouble!
Falco wakes up
Falco:
Huh? What was that noise?
Metal Gear Solid Guy: Who's footprints are these!?
Jigglypuff: :anime sweat mark:
Slippy: AHHHHHHH!!!!
He gets run
over by Rob64
Rob64: DESTROY! ERROR TYPE 2!!! DESTROY! BETA
INFURIATION CODE 4565 *bzzzzzzz* ERROR! ERROR!
His head spins
around
Falco: I'll stop it!!
Fox: Falco, don't go too close, Rob's dangerous!
Falco: Rob, calm down, let Slippy look at your circuitry..
Rob64: Location Confirmed. Sending shit.
Jigglypuff: ... What!??!?
A box drops in front of Falco and opens up; inside is a nova bomb. It starts
to beep
Fox: EVERYONE! HIT THE DECK!!
Jigglypuff: Falco, get out of there NOW!!!
Fox: Now you're talking like Bill Grey!
Jigglypuff: I don't even know who Bill is Fox!
Falco jumps out of the way, and the bomb explodes creating a big hole
inside the Great Fox
Fox: Jeez! Can anyone take care of that hole?!
Slippy: I can't stop it!!!
Falco Grabs a chair and throws it at Rob64. It doesn't seem to do anything.
Peppy runs in carrying a bucket of water and throws it at Rob64,
short-circuiting it.
Slippy: Yipee!! You did it!
Jigglypuff smacks Slippy with the hammer from Super Smash Brothers
Slippy: OW!!!!
Peppy: Glad that's over, I don't know what got into Rob...
Falco: Good going, Slippy!
Slippy: Hey, I didn't do anything!!!!
Falco: You're the dunce who programmed him!
Jigglypuff: Calling the frog a dunce is a little harsh, Falco. After all,
he did build the Arwing , tank and submarine... but you know, I've seen better
ships.. Andross' Wolfens are quite impressive.
Slippy: What!? How could Andross' Wolfens be better than the Arwing!? I
copied every technical modification on the Wolfen's blueprints that I swiped
from him, they should be equal........ OH SHIT! NO ONE HEARD THAT!!!
Jigglypuff: Well I sure did.
Fox: No wonder the Wolfen is so similar to the Arwing!
Peppy: Slippy, you're such a disgrace!
Falco: Slippy's a good mechanic my ass!
Jigglypuff: I don't want to hear about your ass Falco..
Fox: How did you manage to steal the information on the Wolfens from
Andross?
Slippy: Well I -
Jigglypuff: Ok, enough about Andross.. I don't want to have any unwanted
visitors.. speaking of him though, what's up with you saying goodbye to Andrew?
Slippy: I was being sarcastic..
Falco: You sire didn't sound sarcastic
Slippy: Yeah, you would know Falco!
Falco: Yes, (chuckles) I would..
Jigglypuff: :sigh:
Slippy: I'm serious!!
Jigglypuff: Ok Slippy, I believe you. Falco, you said that you cannot
determine Slippy's gender, Slippy what do you have to say to that?
Slippy: Falco YOU CAN GO TO HELL! I'm A GUY, GOT IT! SO YOU JUST SHUT THE
#$$%^^&^^$ UP, YOU PIECE OF S^&*.
Falco: If you're a guy, then what's wrong with your voice?
Fox: Falco, just leave him alone.
Falco: Him? Him!? Slippy's an IT!!
Slippy: I can't help it if my voice sounds like this.
Jigglypuff: You know Slippy, you're voice reminds me of Mickey Mouse
Slippy: Hey you're right!
Falco: All right, I'm convinced. Slippy is a girl!
Jigglypuff: Falco, that's so mean!
Falco: I am mean!
Peppy: And you're proud of it?
Fox: Of course he is, Falco is proud of everything.
Jigglypuff: Falco, is Katt really your girlfriend?
Falco: No. I just knew her when I was young....
Katt stomps in
Falco: Uh oh..
Katt: FALCO YOU SON OF A- huh? What's this?
Looks at Jigglypuff
Katt:
Oh, how cute!
Jigglypuff: Hi!
Falco: Katt, ..... I know your a loner, so I didn't want to hurt your
feelings, but.. I.... ........................ argh! I don't have the heart to
say it!
Jigglypuff: Isn't that because you are "mean?"
Fox: Falco, you're a loner too!
Falco: WHAT?!
Fox: I mean, aren't "birds of a feather" supposed to "stick together?"
You can’t even get a friend your own species!
Jigglypuff: OH DISS!!
Katt: I can't believe you Falco!
Jigglypuff: No offence Katt, but you’re desperate.
Katt: What do you mean I'm desperate?
Jigglypuff: DUDE!! You are trying to date Falco!? I rather date
:cough: Andross than him!
She looks
around suspiciously
Slippy: Yeah, me too, Jigglypuff!!
Everyone looks at Slippy for a moment
Katt: Gross!
Fox: I'm convinced.. Slippy's not a girl..
Slippy: Thanks Fox!
Fox: He's a freaking homose-
Jigglypuff: -Ok we all know Slippy has problems, just let him be.
Katt: At least I know how to flirt, Jigglypuff!
Jigglypuff: You know what, you disgust me! There is not one thing you
say in the game does not make you sound like a damn slu-
[Authors Note: As a girl, I was offended how the only female character in the
Starfox game was portrayed as a flirting nuisance.]
Katt: You want to rock? I'll pop ya you pink balloon!
She extends her
sharp claws
Jigglypuff: Bring it on!!!
Fox: Ooooh cat fight!
Jigglypuff: Oh no Fox, this balloon doesn't do "cat" fights, she does
duke it out free for all- melees!
Katt hisses
Katt:
Am I supposed to be impressed?!
Jigglypuff: That's up to you. Are you going to fight me, or not? I'm
warning you, you're hair might get messed up... heehee..
Falco: Hahahahaha!
Katt: At least I have hair! Not a pile of pink poof!
Jigglypuff narrows her eyes, and leaps into the air, and smacks Katt right in
the face
Katt: OW! Are you trying to ruin my pretty face?
Jigglypuff: First of all, your not pretty! Second of all, stop saying
your lines, and 3rd of all, NO SHIT SHERLOCK! WHY DO YOU THINK I'm PUNCHING
YOU!!!?!
Falco: She's ignorant.
Katt: Eat this, bitchy-puff!!!
Katt slashes at
Jigglypuff with her razor-sharp claws, put Jigglypuff puts up her pink shield
from Super Smash Brothers
Jigglypuff: Nice try, "Kittie"
Jigglypuff
rolls behind Katt and grabs her, throws her to the ground and launches her up in
the air
Peppy: Hey did you see that? Jigglypuff did a barrel roll!
Jigglypuff: :Sighs: No I didn't...
Fox: Hey, that reminds me of that song! Rollout! Rollout! My business! So
drop that Rollout!!! So much money, can't stop that Rollout!!
Jigglypuff: Rollout? Not a bad idea, Fox!
She curls up
into a ball and begins to store energy for her powerful rollout attack, as soon
as Katt lands on the floor, she zips at a near impossible sight to see, and
charges into her, with astounding force
Katt: I'll... get... you.. for.. this.. Jigglypuff!!
Katt gets sent
through the wall of the Great Fox, and sent flying off into the distance a la
Super Smash Brothers
Falco: Yeah! Jigglypuff got rid of her!
Fox: Damn it, now we have another hole to fix...
Jigglypuff: That was fun!! Hey, who should I interview next!?
Falco: How about Leon? Maybe you can get rid of him, too!
Jigglypuff: Ok! I'll interview him, but no promises, Falco! I may want to
interview Peppy..
Peppy: ..... what?
Fox: I think he was in a coma..
Jigglypuff: The 40s isn't old!!! Stop saying he's having a stroke, coma,
ect!
Peppy: WHAT!?
Eyes bulge out
and a huge vein appears on his neck
Fox Uh... nothing Peppy!
Peppy foams at the mouth and bites a bookcase in half
Jigglypuff: One thing I think he does have.. rabies!
Fox: AH! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!
Jigglypuff: I'm heading back to Mt. Moon.. goodbye, and good luck with
Peppy, Fox!
Fox: AAAHHHHHH
Jigglypuff: Ouch...
Peppy: GLARGAGRARHAMNA!!!
Falco: What did he say?
Slippy: He's rabid! Jigglypuff, I'll call you when it's safe to interview
Peppy, ok!
Jigglypuff: Sounds good to me.. goodnight!
Jigglypuff teleports back to Kanto
TO BE CONTINUED
Next interview: Peppy