Jigglypuff: It's been quite a long time since I've been in the Lylat
System, I prefer to practice my melee skills and hang out with my friends in
Kanto, so today I’m not going to interview anyone, and who knows, I may not
interview for the rest of my life.. those people are CRAZY! Last time, I caught
myself TALKING like one.. good lord..
Suddenly, a
Fearow flies over Jigglypuff, then lands. It has a letter of some sort in it's
beak
Jigglypuff: Oh, good morning Fearow, you say you have a letter for me?
The bird nods and drops the letter from it's magnificent sized beak.
Jigglypuff picks up letter and starts reading it.
Jigglypuff: Hmmm... WHAT!? "You are being sued by Emperor Andross for
destroying his fortress and breaking his first Bio-weapon created..." This is
not fair!!! It was in self-defense!! I can't believe this!! How, and where the
heck am I going to get a lawyer... why didn't Andross sue Jolteon ARGH WHY ME!?
Fearow cocks it's head from side to side; It doesn’t have a clue to what
Jigglypuff is talking about
Jigglypuff: :Sigh: Well, I guess I don't have a choice since the law is
now involved.. where is the trial going to be?
Fearow lowers it's beak to a line that says "Venom"
Jigglypuff: Oh, planet Venom? Hmmm I thought all the political and
law was in
Corneria.. whatever, prehaps I can settle this Andross junk once and for all..
good bye Fearow, I hope to be back soon..
Jigglypuff teleports to planet Venom
----------
She appears on Venom, in front of Andross' fortress, that was built back up
suspiciously fast. Caiman walks behind her and pokes her.
Caiman: Jigglypuff, the trial will be starting shortly..
Jigglypuff: But I don't have a lawyer!!
Caiman: .......... Please follow me.
Jigglypuff folds her arms and walks into the trial area with a dirty look on
her face. She sees Andross in the distance. As soon as she walks in the crowd
boos her
Jigglypuff: Ah, boo yourself!
She looks around and realizes the jury consists nothing but the Star Wolf
team, and a few other Venomians
Jigglypuff: Oh well, that's just peachy, I lost the trial before it even
began!
Andross smirks
Andross:
I’m sorry I have to do this to you my love, but you leave me no choice- once you
lose this trial, you shall be in my custody, and you will do my biddings, your
song shall win the Lylat System back to my power!
Jigglypuff: YOU... YOU...
She realises the jury are at her
Jigglypuff:
You... um... yeah.. ^_^;
Caiman: Please make way for the honourable judge Brain!
Jigglypuff: Judge Brain!?
The final boss from Starfox64, the giant brain floats in
Brain: ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT! You know that I control the law!
Jigglypuff: Oh god... now I've DEFINITELY lost the trial...
Brain: Only I have the brains to be a judge!
Andross: WILL YOU SHUT UP AND GET STARTED!
The brain obeys
Jigglypuff: What the heck?! He just told the judge to shut up; he
should be kicked out for that! THIS TRIAL IS RIGGED!
Andross laughs manically. Jigglypuff mocks him
Jigglypuff:
HAR HAR HAR!
Brain: It's foolish to mock him!
Jigglypuff: This is stupid, I’m being sued because of self-defence, and
Andross rebuilt his fortress, but he still wants to sue me, and the judge is HIS
bio-weapon, and the jury are a bunch of Venomian scum-bags!
Brain: ONE MORE REMARK FROM YOU AND I'LL HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT!
Jigglypuff: Yes, Brain
Brain: THAT'S JUDGE BRAIN!
Jigglypuff: :Sighs: Your honour...
Brain folds his tentacles
Brain: Folds his tentacles That's better. Now, the court shall come
to order now!
He grabs the hammer
and hits Andrew with it
Andrew: AHHHHH UNCLE ANDROSS THE BIO-WEAPON IS BEING MEAN!
Andross: Good.
Andrew: What!?
Andross: Er.. good riddance.
Andrew starts whining
Brain: Since you don't have an attorney, you will be defending
yourself, Jigglypuff. Andross has also chosen to represent himself, the
defendant must rise before the court.
Jigglypuff takes the stand. Caiman walks over to her holding a bible
Caiman: Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help
you god?
Jigglypuff: Yes, of course I do.
Brain: Good, now let's get started.
Jigglypuff: What about Andross? He is required to swear on the bible-
Brain glares at her
Jigglypuff:.......... never mind....
Andross: Your honour, This Jigglypuff has destroyed my fortress, although
I've rebuilt it... and destroyed my 1st bio-weapon.
Brain gasps
Brain:
NO!
Andross: Yes, would you care to see the evidence, I must warn you Brain,
it's quite distressing.
Brain: Bring forth the victim!
The hologram face thing from the 1993 Starfox game comes in, sitting in a
wheelchair, glued together, has cracks in it, bain-aids on it, and has a sad
expression on it
Jigglypuff: Oh my gosh; How over-dramatised is that!?
The jury gasps at the outburst
Brain: IF THAT BIO-WEAPON GOES DOWN, I'LL TAKE THIS JIGGLYPUFF WITH
ME!
Jigglypuff: ........
Andross: Your honour, this is all we could do for it after Jigglypuff
sabotage it.
Jigglypuff: OBJECTION! Judge brain, I didn't “sabotage” it, I
accidentally caused Andross to drop it!
Brain: OVER-RULED!
Jigglypuff puffs up with fury, While Andross chuckles
Brain: I've seen enough! We shall ask the for the jury's feedback
Jigglypuff: WAIT! I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO--
Jury: GUILTY!
Brain: Jigglypuff, I sentence you to life in the Venomian prison, under
Andross's rule.
Jigglypuff: WHAT?!? This trial is ridiculous! You can't do this to me! I
have rights you know!
Andross: Not anymore..
Jigglypuff’s eyes turn blue
Jigglypuff:
I'LL BLOW THIS DUMP LIKE I DID BEFORE!
Suddenly a sleeping dart is shot into here from behind.
Jigglypuff: W-w-whoaaaa :yawn: That.. was a cheap.. s-shot..
Andross
She sways back and forth trying not to fall asleep
Jigglypuff:
you-- won't get away with this.... Z z z z z z z
Andross: Too late, I've already have! MWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Brain: Shut up! My laugh is better! HAHAHAHAAHAHA!
Andross: Hey Einstein, I programmed you!
Buck: Go find your own catchphrase, Andross!
Andross turns around
Andross: Falco? How did you get here?!?
He looks up to
see Peppy, Slippy and Fox (who is in a stray jacket) land in front of him
Andross: YOU!
Buck: Jigglypuff had a feeling you would try to pull something, so she
called us to cover her.
Fox: ANDROSS! DEAD PEOPLE! I SEE DEAD PEOPLE! THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!
Andross: Still seeing things eh Fox?
Fox: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!
Peppy: Not now, Fox!
Pigma: DIE PEPPY!
Slippy: Jigglypuff's enemy is my enemy!
Andrew: UNCLE ANDROSS! SLIPPY IS MOCKING ME!
Andross: The last thing we need is another you...
He shudders
Fox: Say your prayers Andross
Jigglypuff wakes up and jumps over Andross, and starts to beat the heck out
of the Starfox team
Jigglypuff: Huh? YOU STALKERS!! LEAVE ME ALONE, AND QUIT SAYING YOUR
LINES, IT'S SO LAME, OLD, AND SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!
She uses pound
over and over, hitting them like punching bags
Andross: Heh, socially unacceptable..
Within mere moments, the Starfox team lie in front of Andross and Jigglypuff,
half-dead. Jigglypuff turns to Andross
Jigglypuff:
I didn't do that for you, that was out of my own free will, the truth is I
didn't call for backup, the reason why they came was to capture me from you!
From reliable intelligence sources of mine, I found out they had a similar plan
of yours, they wanted to use my song to put you and your allies to sleep, then
kill you once and for all! I can't stand it when people try to use me.. that
really bothers me!
Andross: So.. your siding with me!?
Jigglypuff: NO! I’m not on either side, I’m neutral. All what I want to
do is have nice peaceful interviews, in fact, it would be nice if I could have
one with you and the Starfox team together at once, who knows, perhaps I can put
an end to this silly war. Well, I guess I lost my temper..
She looks at the Starfox team
Jigglypuff:....
I did lose my temper..
Andross: Ah that happens to everyone Jigglypuff, I too have a problem
with mine..
Andrew: No kidding
Andross: SHUT UP ANDREW!
Jigglypuff: HEY! I don't have a problem with my temper, its normal to
lose it sometime in your life, I’m not perfect you know.
Andross: I didn't know that!
Jigglypuff: Andross, quit trying to be nice to me so I'll work for you..
it's not going to happen..
The Starfox team gets up
Buck: What.. what happened?
Slippy: My head....
Fox: I don't know what happened at all...
Peppy: Hey! How did we get in Andross’ turf!?
Buck: No clue.. hey! There's Jigglypuff!
Jigglypuff: Oh perfect! They don't remember what happened or that they
where going to try to capture me!
Fox: Hey... I don't see dead people anymore.. I feel great!
Jigglypuff: And I even helped Fox out! Isn't this wonderful Andross?
She turns and
smiles
Andross: .... oh yes, I’m just brimming with joy, so ecstatic am I..
He roll his eyes
Jigglypuff: This had such a happy ending!
Andross: Give me a break..
Jigglypuff: Well... Ok..
She hands
Andross a Kit-Kat
Andross: That's not what I meant...
Jigglypuff: Next time, we should have an interview with the Starfox and
Starwolf team together! That would be great! Oh, of course you would be there
too, Andross.
Andross: That's asking to start another War..
Jigglypuff: No it won't, I'll make sure no one fights.. I will teleport
everyone to my place and show you around Kanto, and we can have a big interview!
Fox: Kanto? Isn't that where you are from?
Jigglypuff: That's right!
Slippy: And Pokémon live there!
Jigglypuff: Yes, that's also correct!
Slippy: I GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL!
Buck: I’M GOING TO BE A POKÉMON MASTER!
Jigglypuff: Oh brother..
Andross: (If I can get my hands on a powerful pocket monster, or one with
the sing technique, I can use them to take over Lylat.....)
Jigglypuff: So it's, agreed. I had better clean up my place if I’m going
to have visitors!
Everyone: Ok
Jigglypuff: Ok then, I'll see you soon!
Fox: WAIT!!!
Jigglypuff: What!?
Fox: I..... I... I TOLD YOU SO! BUT YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME!
Peppy: Fox, what are you talking about?
Fox: Andross is a brain!!! Look!
He points to
Brain
Buck: Holy smokes! He was telling the truth!
Andross:......
Brain:........
Jigglypuff: Are you blind?! Andross is to the left of me, and Brain, his
bio-weapon is behind me!
Brain: JUDGE BRAIN!
Jigglypuff gives Brain a dirty look
Fox: So Andross, you show your true form!
Jigglypuff: WHAT DID I JUST SAY!? ANDROSS IS STANDING TO THE- ugh... I
give up.
Peppy: They are two separate living things
Andross: "THINGS!?"
He glares at
Peppy
Peppy: OH GOD .. MY HEART!
Jigglypuff: Easy Andross, I don't think Peppy can handle it.. Even though
it's odd a 40 year old would already have cardiovascular defects.
Fox: Well which one is the real Andross?
Jigglypuff: No! The brain's name is Brain, the ape's name is Andross!
Fox: NO!!!!
Peppy: Fox, you told me that you DIDN'T want to go back to the mental
hospital.
Jigglypuff: Look, if Andross was a brain, then how could he have a
nephew?
Andrew: Hi!!!!
Slippy: Hi!!!
Buck: Not again...
Fox: Will the real Andross please stand up, I repeat will the real
Andross please stand up, please stand up-
Peppy hits Fox over the head with a broken bottle
Fox: gaaa....
Peppy: I don't like Slim Shady, such a punk.
Jigglypuff: I bet you wish you were a punk..
Peppy: WHAT WAS THAT?
Jigglypuff: Uh, I bet your dish was a funk.
Peppy: That makes no sense..
Jigglypuff: Exactly! Well, I'll send you invitations to go to Kanto for a
change of pace.. see ya!
Jigglypuff Teleports out
TO BE CONTINUED
NEXT INTERVIEW: Starfox and Pokémon - Together!